Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Bad Joke Tuesday #6 ...
A lady is throwing a Halloween party, and to make it challenging, she tells everyone that they should come dressed as an emotion.
So she is getting everything ready, and the doorbell rings. It is her best friend from work, who is wearing a long green gown, green gloves up past her elbows, and green eye shadow. "What are you?" the hostess asks. "I'm green with envy!" her friend replies. "Great, come on in!"
The doorbell rings again, and it's her husband's boss. He is wearing a red tux, with red face paint, horns, and yellow contacts. "Let me guess," says the hostess, "you're red with rage!" "Right!" says the guest.
And so it goes.
Later, things are going great... the party's packed when the doorbell rings. The hostess opens the door, and there stands her crazy neighbor from a couple of doors down. He's standing there completely naked, with a hard-on, and a pear stuck on the end of his dick.
"Um, what are you supposed to be?" the hostess asks uncomfortably.
The neighbor replies, "I'm fuckin' dis-pair!!!"
. ...............
So she is getting everything ready, and the doorbell rings. It is her best friend from work, who is wearing a long green gown, green gloves up past her elbows, and green eye shadow. "What are you?" the hostess asks. "I'm green with envy!" her friend replies. "Great, come on in!"
The doorbell rings again, and it's her husband's boss. He is wearing a red tux, with red face paint, horns, and yellow contacts. "Let me guess," says the hostess, "you're red with rage!" "Right!" says the guest.
And so it goes.
Later, things are going great... the party's packed when the doorbell rings. The hostess opens the door, and there stands her crazy neighbor from a couple of doors down. He's standing there completely naked, with a hard-on, and a pear stuck on the end of his dick.
"Um, what are you supposed to be?" the hostess asks uncomfortably.
The neighbor replies, "I'm fuckin' dis-pair!!!"
. ...............
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Bad Joke Tuesday #5 ...
Top 10 Naughty Things You Hear On Halloween
1. So...What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
__________________________________________
Why don't witches wear panties?
To get a better grip on the broom!
What do rednecks do on Halloween?
Pump-kin!
Why couldn't the witch have a baby?
Because the ghost had a Holloweenie!!!
Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to "THE OTHER SIDE."
What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A handfull of sheet!
What's do you call a chickens ghost?
A poultry-geist.
. ...............
1. So...What'd you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!
5. I got the best piece from that house.
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....
8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!
9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
__________________________________________
Why don't witches wear panties?
To get a better grip on the broom!
What do rednecks do on Halloween?
Pump-kin!
Why couldn't the witch have a baby?
Because the ghost had a Holloweenie!!!
Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to "THE OTHER SIDE."
What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A handfull of sheet!
What's do you call a chickens ghost?
A poultry-geist.
. ...............
Monday, October 20, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Bad Joke Tuesday #4 ...
A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked: "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."
A couple of blonde women in a pickup truck drove into a
lumberyard. One of the blonde ladies walked into the office and
said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The woman said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. She returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
She paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, she returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
. ...............
A couple of blonde women in a pickup truck drove into a
lumberyard. One of the blonde ladies walked into the office and
said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The woman said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. She returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
She paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, she returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
. ...............
Labels: Joke