Friday, December 28, 2007

A Bit Of Bush ...


Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas ...


Saturday, December 22, 2007

Fun With Xmas Cookies ...


Friday, December 21, 2007

The Office Party ...

John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

He made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in pissing off the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did !!! You can go back to work on Monday."

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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Thursday's Yuletide Offering


Wednesday, December 19, 2007


* I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the small talk, my dear!
* Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
* Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
* Some of my best toys run on batteries...
* I see you when you're sleeping - and you don't wear any underwear, do you?
* Screw the "nice" list ... I've got you on my "nice and naughty" list!
* Wanna join the "Mile High" club?
* That's not a candy cane in my pocket, honey. I'm just glad to see you!
* Let me slide down your chimney and I'll give you a big present.
* How about leaving your cookie out with that milk this year?

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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Baaaaaaad ...


Monday, December 17, 2007

That's Just Wrong ... But Funny!


Saturday, December 15, 2007

Oh Christmas Tree ...


Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ho Ho Ho ... Bitches


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Fun With Lawyers ...

Oh... That Explains Everything!

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"

She said that she did.

He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no.

The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified.

She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"

The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"

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Monday, December 10, 2007

Winter Wonderland ...

Fun in the snow...

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Thursday Stuff ...


Fly Torture ...


Monday, December 03, 2007

Bar Room Translations ...

1. "Excuse Me." (male to male) -- "Get the hell out of the way."

2. "Excuse Me." (male to female) -- "I am going to grope you now."

3. "Excuse Me." (female to male) -- "Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way."

4. "Excuse Me." (female to female) -- "Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. And get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are."

5. "What do you have on tap?" -- "What's cheap?"

6. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) -- "I'm easy."

7. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) -- "I'm gay."

8. "Can I have a white Russian?" (female) -- "I'm *really* easy."

9. "Can I have a white Russian?" (male) -- "I'm *really* gay."

10. "That person looks really familiar." -- "Did I sleep with him/her?"

11. "Can I just get a glass of water?" (female) -- "I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this."

12. "I don't have my ID on me." (female) -- "I'm 16."

13. "I don't have my ID on me." (male) -- "I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a 0.4 after my last visit here"

14. "You get this round and the next round is on me." -- "I'll be leaving before the next round."

15. "I'll get this round and the next one is on you." -- "Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $3.50."

16. "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" -- "I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position."

17. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female) -- "I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you."

18. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male) -- "If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?"

19. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female) -- "You are paying more attention to your friends than me."

20. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (male) -- "I'm horny."

21. "Who's got the next round?" -- "I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention."

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