Saturday, February 28, 2009

Heavy Lifting ...


Friday, February 27, 2009

Bathroom Art ...


Thursday, February 26, 2009

Mardi Gras, Disney Style ...


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Great Sex Gone Really Bad ...


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Bad Joke Tuesday #22 ...

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced six husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom.

“How can that be if you’ve been married six times?”

Well, husband #1 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #2 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #3 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #4 was in marketing: he had a nice product, but he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #5 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #6 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

“Wow,” said the new husband, " how do you know that I'll get the job done? "

“No problem there my dear, You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed big time!”

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Monday, February 23, 2009

Big Boobs = More Beads ...


Sunday, February 22, 2009

I - See - You ...


Saturday, February 21, 2009

American Recovery Plan ...


Friday, February 20, 2009

Where The Fuck Is Waldo ...


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sage Advice ...


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Cougar Barbie ...


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Bad Joke Tuesday #21 ...

Two women, who had been friends for years, decide to go for a "Girls Night Out", and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they really needed to pee. Since they were passing a graveyard, one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone.

The first woman had nothing to dry herself with, so she thought she'd take off her panties, use them, and then throw them away.

Her friend was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves. So she dried herself with the ribbon.

The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said, "This girl's night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife came home last night without her panties!"

That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that said,


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Monday, February 16, 2009

Happy Presidents Day ...


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Gag Reflex ...


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy V.D. ...


Friday, February 13, 2009

Vagina Face ...


Thursday, February 12, 2009

American Gothic 3.0 ...


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

ESPN Coverage ...


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Bad Joke Tuesday #20 ...

A guy sees his buddy in a bar and says, "You're not going to believe this, but I've got a wild nymphomaniac in my car out in the parking lot. She's wearing me out! Can you go out to the car and keep her busy? The dome light is off, so she won't know you're not me!" His friend agrees and goes out to his car.
They climb into the back seat and start going at it. A few minutes later,
a cop sees them and starts banging on the window, shining his flashlight inside.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?"

The guy says, "Oh, there's nothing wrong, she's my wife."

The cop says, "Oh, sorry, I didn't know."

The guy says "Neither did I until you shined that light in here."
Q: How do you make a hormone?
A: Don't pay her.

Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q: How can you tell a macho women?
A: She rolls her own tampons.

Q: Why do women like to play Pac-man?
A: Because they can get eaten three minutes for a quarter.

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Monday, February 09, 2009

The Horror ... The Horror ...


Sunday, February 08, 2009

SICK! But Oh So Funny ...


Saturday, February 07, 2009

Moron Alert ...


Friday, February 06, 2009

Driving Safety ...


Thursday, February 05, 2009

American Gothic 2.0 ...


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Olympic Blow-Jobs ...


Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Bad Joke Tuesday #19 ...

A man boarded a plane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his..
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago".

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really, " he said, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native american Indian who is most likely to possess that trait."Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
A woman went to see a psychiatrist's.

"What seems to be the problem, he asked?"

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for the entire night?"

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Monday, February 02, 2009

It's Fucking Groundhogs Day ...