Dildo...

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WTF Friday...

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Sage Advice

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WTF Saturday ....

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Making Shadow Animals ...

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Good Old Williamsburg ....

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Bad Joke Tuesday #37 ...

I'm Sorry Mr. Mccarthy

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of one Pete Mccarthy, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Pete had the longest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Mccarthy," said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's distinguishing member. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife.

"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.

"Oh, my God!" she screamed, "Pete is dead!"

A Memo From Human Resources

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and Information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD FO: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You, Human Resources
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That's Going To Hurt In The Morning

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Head.. Hunting.. Pussy..

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The Penis Wants a Raise ...

The Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in high temperatures.
6. I work in a damp environment.
7. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
8. My work exposes me to diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the
management denies your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the Management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other
locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be Pressured and Stimulated in order
to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the
assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting
the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, Management

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