The Penis Wants a Raise ...

The Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in high temperatures.
6. I work in a damp environment.
7. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
8. My work exposes me to diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the
management denies your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the Management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other
locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be Pressured and Stimulated in order
to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the
assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting
the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, Management

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