Taking The Time To Make It Special ...

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She Really Needs Glasses ...

Girl Needs Glasses Funny Commercials
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Bad Joke Tuesday #31 ...

Kevin, Jake, and Jimmy are all sitting next to the stage at a local strip club, when the sexiest girl they have ever seen makes her way onto the stage. Kevin, wanting to impress his friends, takes a fifty dollar bill out of his wallet and waves it at the young dancer. She approaches him and shakes her ass in his face. He obliges by licking the fifty dollar bill and sticking it to her left ass cheek!
Jake, not wanting to be out-done by his friend, pulls a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet and waves it at the young lady. She dances over, waves her ass in his face, to which he licks the hundred dolar bill and sticks it to her right butt cheek.
Now, this sexy little lady is dancing around with a hundred and fifty dollars stuck to her butt cheeks.
Jimmy doesn't have any cash left on him, so he pulls out his credit card and waves it at the hot entertainer. She makes her way over to him. She bends over and puts her cute little behind inches from his face. He stands up and promptly runs the credit card down the crack of her ass, grabs that fifty and the hundred, and walks out the door!!!
___________________________
Q. Where do you find a stripper's asshole?
A. At home with the kids.

Q: What do you get when you cross a stripper with a model?
A: A boner.
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Frosty Nipples ...

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You Know That You Want To ...

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Bad Neighborhood ...

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Copy Your Tits Friday #3

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Twitter... Everyone Is Doing It!

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Now We Know Why She's So Popular ...

Hot Chick Peels Banana With Her Feet -
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Bad Joke Tuesday #30 ...

Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.

Q. What's the difference between love and herpes?
A. Love doesn't last forever.

Q. How do you make your wife scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.

Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less then his wife.

Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.

Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts.

Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

Q. What's white, smells, and can be found in panties?
A. Clitty litter

Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
A. He's smoking a cigarette.

Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!

Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"

Q. What is the cheapest meat?
A. Deer balls, there under a buck.

Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A. A lesbian with a hard-on.

Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
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Monday Funnies ...

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Innovation ...

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Is This Really Needed ...

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Copy Your Tits Friday #2

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The Happiest Place On Earth ...

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Window Flashing ...

Window flash - video powered by Metacafe
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Bad Joke Tuesday #29 ...

Top Ten Rejection Lines:

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Women (and what they actually mean..)

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance”)

9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)

8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you
may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing)

6. I’ve got a boyfriend (who’s really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben & Jerry’s)

5. I don’t date men where I work (Hey bud, I wouldn’t even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building)

4. It’s not you, it’s me (It’s not me, it’s you)

3. I’m concentrating on my career (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I’m celibate. (I’ve sworn off *only* the men like you.)

…..and the #1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)

1. Let’s be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given by Men (and what they actually mean..)

10. I think of you as a sister (You’re ugly)

9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly)

8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly)

6. I’ve got a girlfriend (You’re ugly)

5. I don’t date women where I work (You’re ugly)

4. It’s not you, it’s me (You’re ugly)

3. I’m concentrating on my career (You’re ugly)

2. I’m celibate (You’re ugly)

….and the #1 rejection line given by men:

1. Let’s be Friends (You’re SINFULLY ugly!)

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The Day After Easter ...

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Yeah Peeps ...

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Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail ...

And He's Really Pissed...

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Welcome To Intercourse ...

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This Guy Is NUTS ...

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A Bunny & A Rabbit ...

Eastern Bunny - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

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Bad Joke Tuesday #28 ...

The internet is like a penis ...

It can be up or down. It’s more fun when it’s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that’s the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what kind of person you’re dealing with until it’s too late.

If you don’t apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you’ll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you’re not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself “why on earth did I do that?”

Some folks have it, some don’t.

Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don’t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.

Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s a nifty toy, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don’t have it would like to try it.

Once you’ve started playing with it, it’s hard to stop.

Some people would just play with it all day if they didn’t have work to do.
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I Found This Funny ...

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2 Girls 1 Cup ...

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STOP ...

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