Funny Joke Tuesday ...

An alien and a human couple agree to swap partners. The human wife and the alien husband went off together and ended up at a hotel. The alien male drops his pants, exposing his 2 inch penis. "I don't think that this will work out, you're cock is just too small," says the woman. "Well," the alien says, "Watch this." He proceeds to smack himself in the forehead and his cock grows to 12 inches. "Wow, that's great," she tells him, "but it's still only a half an inch thick." So the alien starts tugging on his ears and with each tug his member grows wider and wider until the woman just can't stand it any more and they have a wild night of sex. Afterwards she said to her husband "That was the best sex that I've ever had. It was amazing!" "What about you ?" "It was weird", he answered. "All night long she kept hitting me on the head and tugging on my ears!"
______________________________________________
A guy hooks up with a 46 year old woman at a club.
The had a few drinks and talked awhile. She eventually leans over and asked him if He had ever had a Sportsman's Double.

"What's that?" He asked.

"It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.

He told her that he hadn't but He would really love to.

They drank a bit more, then she told him that tonight was his lucky night.

They both went back to her place. She opened the door, flipped on the hall light and then shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"
. ............